The Power of a Role Model

Lucius Seneca, Statesman and Philosopher, Rome, BC

My letter calls for a conclusion. Here’s one for you—one that will serve you well, too—which I’d like you to take to heart.

"We should set our admiration on a great person and keep them always in mind, living as if they were watching us and acting as if they could see all we do. The soul needs someone to look up to—someone whose influence makes even our private, inner life more honest and pure.

Happy is the man who improves others not merely when he is in their presence but even when he lingers in their thoughts!

And a person who admires another in this way will soon become worthy of admiration themselves."

We cannot deny this truth: as humans, we are complex. On any given day, we face a thousand little things that can depress and discourage us, draining our efforts, making us see no point in trying, in improving ourselves, or even in rising from bed. Finding meaning and purpose in our lives is no child’s play—it’s a daily battle.

Yet life also offers us a thousand opportunities to find encouragement and energy, to leap out of bed and pursue self-improvement with a lively spirit. We have our families to make proud, our friends to impress, our teachers and mentors whose standards we strive to meet, and our wishes—like a beautiful house or car—that feel so close, so possible.

Allow me to add another motivating factor, already hinted at by Seneca above: a Role Model. Don’t shy away from choosing your personal hero—someone who speaks your language of success, who has achieved the goals you hold in your heart, who is fearless and resilient, yet kind and compassionate. Select them even for their looks, if they appeal to you. Choose them for their honesty and values.

A caution: be wary of picking someone just because they’re trending this week, or because they’re famous, or because they’re rude or flaunt their wealth. These kinds of people aren’t role models—they’re flukes. And you don’t want to be a fluke. You don’t want to act rich while secretly miserable, or appear well-off when your success depends on someone else—a boss or a lover.

Instead, choose those who are independent, strong-minded, and hardworking—people who have proven their work ethic. That’s a more repeatable, sustainable, and robust way to live. As Steve Jobs wisely said,

“One way to remember who you are is to remember who your heroes are.”