The Pillars of Mastery -- A Series (4/4)

On Happiness & Gratitude

Lack of happiness is a lack of gratitude.

Have you ever found yourself completely overwhelmed by negative, embarrassing, or frustrating circumstances—where you aren’t sure how you ended up in such a low point, yet part of you doesn’t want to move away from it? There’s a strangely comforting feeling in those negative thoughts and reflections, even though they come with an overwhelming sense of despair that can make you feel like doing something drastic, like harming yourself or disappearing. It’s a thought that maybe, if you ended your life, people would finally care about you—but just too late.

I’ve been there myself, and maybe I will be again in the future.

No matter, I’ve developed a safeguard against these feelings.

Psychologist and Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman sums it up best:

“If you are allowed one wish for your child, seriously consider wishing him or her optimism. Optimists are normally cheerful and happy, and therefore popular; they are resilient in adapting to failures and hardships, their chances of clinical depression are reduced, their immune system is stronger, they take better care of their health, they feel healthier than others, and are likely to live longer.”

This safeguard is Optimism, brilliantly depicted in Frances Hodgson Burnett’s novel A Little Princess (1905).

Like any muscle, this mental safeguard improves with time.

You deliberately imagine a better future instead of a worse one, which encourages self-respect, self-care, and energy. You turn defeat into an opportunity to learn, accepting reality by stripping away the inessentials, rather than using failure as proof of your inadequacy. You look for the positive side of life—not just for the sake of optimism, but to spark your curiosity, to try new things, and to review your painful past with understanding and maturity.

Optimism, maintained daily through practices like keeping a gratitude journal, prayer, or giving, is the cure for the mind’s disease that we discussed earlier.

Previous Posts In this Series:
1st:  On Discipline & Talent
2nd: On Wealth
3rd: On Growth

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