Three Wants, Three Fears
"Everyone wants authentic friends, but everyone is scared of saying what they truly think.
Everyone wants money, but everyone is afraid of walking a different path alone and being wrong.
Everyone wants talent, but everyone makes excuses for why they cannot keep up their training."
Let's explore why all of the above can be incredibly difficult to sustain.
On Contrarian Thinking: Saying what you truly think is hard on so many levels. One, because what you say is largely influenced by what you have heard, seen, or experienced. Therefore, even though it is what you are thinking, in most cases you really haven't had the time to verify if it's actually true for everyone. Two, because inherently we all know that in order to say anything with conviction, we need a trusted and verified source. On top of that, verified and trusted sources can also make mistakes on certain topics. You are therefore left with only reality to really prove that what you say is true. And when reality is the judge, the result can be very painful. And most people will rather opt for the path of least resistance, which is not saying what they truly think, or saying what they know people want to hear, or not saying anything at all—it's much safer. But where does that really lead?
On Money: Money doesn't like crowded spaces. Said differently, in crowded spaces money has to accommodate many hands: deserving, undeserving, useful, deceitful, hardworking, lazy, etc. But also, walking a different path is incredibly difficult, for a few reasons. Simply imagine a forest without a map, or a readily available path, or surveillance. Without a map, you have to rely on what you see with your eyes far in the distance as the most likely destination you want to reach. Without an available path to walk on, you are responsible for making a new one, with your mind and hands. And without surveillance, you have nothing protecting you—it is you and your heart. This is incredibly hard on so many levels. And what makes it worse is that you are obviously not in a forest. You are in society. And society isn't quiet and zen-like as the forest might be. Society has opinions, beliefs, and a long past of what and how things have always been done. Society has leaders and followers. It's worse for you if you're born on the following side—that is, if your family and community is largely told what to do. So, to summarize this whole assessment: walking a different path and being ready to be wrong when the stakes are high can be endured by very few stout personalities out there. People with heart, with passion, and with a burning desire to live life fully. Are you one of them?
On Talent: Okay, this one is genuinely simple. It works both like magic and at the same time like 1+1 = 2. For me, 'talent' simply refers to being 'skilled' in a specific domain. And becoming skilled and competent at something requires you to do it consistently. We really don't have to spend much time here except emphasizing why, then, it's so hard to sustain. It's hard to sustain—and therefore become competent in life—because consistency requires clarity on what you want to do with your life. This is not your decision alone, but your parents', your friends', your environments', and your country's decision to make—in both subtle and glaring ways. If at 10 years old you love a certain sport or subject and you feel restless if you haven't done it in a day, but your parents would rather you spent that time elsewhere, or your community wants you somewhere else—well, gradually your clarity and convictions of what you want to do with your life have begun dwindling away. By age 20, you are merely reacting to what's popular and holds merit at the time. Not what you really want to be great at. Therefore, the challenge and topic of talent and sustaining our training requires us to look at what our environment and circumstances encourage. You are blessed if you're given a chance to choose your path. You are fortunate if you have hours in a day that really belong to you.
The common thread is this: every genuine thing you want asks you to stand alone with it long enough to be tested. Authentic friendship, money earned on your own terms, talent and competencies built through daily training—none of them survive in crowded, comfortable spaces. So the real question is not whether you want these things. Everyone does. The question is whether you are willing to be the person who endures the price of having them.
Thanks for reading.
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