You've heard people say: "The odds are against me."
Today, that reality showed up on a soccer field. And it taught me something I want to hold close.
Despite adult obligations and work demands, every week or so I prioritise reuniting with a group of my most skilful soccer friends — guys who genuinely wanted to become professionals. Creative. Competitive. No weak links among them.
Today, only seven pitched up. Four against three. Uneven teams.
I raised my hand to be on the short side. Two brave boys followed — Asanda and Cee Jay. I always prefer the short team. It's where the fitness is earned, the pressure is real, and the lessons are sharpest.
We won, decisively.
Here's what performing under pressure actually looked like 👇
- As the captain of my team, I encouraged constantly. Twice we were behind. I kept saying: "Don't give up — it's only 1-0. Don’t give up — it’s only 2-0. Don’t stress, take another shot." I continually fought the urge to lash out, to confront every poor decision out loud. Because that never changed a scoreline.
- As the captain of my team, I focused on what was in my control. Defending our goal as if my life depended on it. Passing accurately under pressure. Not missing my chances in front of goal. This was in my control. Not the poor shot Asanda made. Not the wrong decision Cee Jay made. Not the talent of the opponent.
- As the captain of my team, I owned my mistakes first. "I'm sorry — I should've passed earlier. I dribbled too much." Harmony doesn't come from demanding it from others. It starts with you. Every time.
Every day I'm reminded that I don't have a degree — odds are against me in the corporate space.
Every day I'm reminded that I'm not in a wealthy country with well-off parents — odds are against me economically.
But no one cares.
No one cares that just when I needed to lock in on my studies in Grade 10, my parents had to confront reality and ask me to sleep at my cousin's place next door — because the big house they had visualised was financially strained. That's when I met the wrong crowd. Gallivanted many nights undetected for two straight years. Got introduced to all available drugs in the black township.
But hold on — I might have locked in on my studies, passed matric handsomely, entered a decent university, landed a high-paying job… But I doubt that would have led to happily ever after. I've seen many of those stories turn sour. Precisely because certain phases were never experienced.
Today, I know what it's like to be addicted to cigarettes — to upturn your mattress looking for a cigarette butt just to fall asleep. I know what it's like to almost die driving under the influence. I know the highs and lows of an ecstasy pill that makes you dance all night like a performer going from club to club.
And because I know — I recognise the patterns that lead to addiction, the crowds heading toward a cliff, and the thoughts that lead to poor decisions.
Inner disharmony. Inner dissatisfaction. Inner turmoil.
A surefire way to make your life worse is to think negatively about yourself, your past, your mistakes, and your circumstances — especially when the odds are already against you.
You won't improve those odds by venting your helplessness. You won't change your trajectory by finding better ways to explain your bad luck in life, work, or relationships.
No one improves their odds by explaining them better.
Like my soccer lesson — you can do this instead:
- Applaud yourself, every chance you get. "Well done for staying calm when that stranger was rude to you. Well done for not retaliating when your efforts went unnoticed. Well done for not complaining when your mother criticised you again, clearly ignoring your efforts." Words have power. Don't turn them against yourself when the odds are already stacked.
- Focus on what is in your control. Today. Your attitude. Your effort. Your experience. Your family.
- Stay calm and composed internally, despite the noise outside. The government will do what it wants. Let it. The economy will load-shed. Let them. Neighbours and colleagues will gossip about you. Let them. Your job is to remain kind, loving, and compassionate — with yourself first. Then with your family, in that order.
The odds don’t change because you complained better.
They change when you play better.
Sam
